"Little Flight" bookmark.

Handmade this last night.  Got home early and had a spark of inspiration to create.  Helps that I promised someone I will be bravely creative this year less I lose the will to live.  I might be taking my pledge wayyyy too seriously but it really encourages my flow :)

Just so you know, if you're interested, you can purchase this from The Good Samaritan Shop.

The trouble with jealousy.

I'm about to post something personal.  A little too personal for the other more popular blog I have, because it feels almost like you're showing a vulnerable side of you and that's not a very good idea.  I feel safer hiding in here.

2012 wasn't a highly eventful year for me.  But there was an epic occasion that I'd remember for the rest of my life.  And that's getting together with a long time friend mid-year and things were never the same.  And boy, they say love is a roller coaster and hell yeah, this is by far one of the most exhilarating rides of my life.  We've been together for 5 months now, and I'm learning so much about him, myself even and about life.  He has taught me so much without even him realizing it.

Not all emotions feel like a bed of roses, some are really hard thorns.  Some I never even knew they existed.  Sometimes I'm overtly emotional over the silliest things.  And it's weird.  You feel a thorn in your heart, say for example 'jealousy', so what do you do about it?  Do you numb it?  Sweep it under the carpet and hope for it to go away?  Do you confront it?  Do you enforce some rules?  What do you do?

I.  Have.  Never.  Felt.  Jealous.  Before.  And I kid you not.  My previous relationships never brought that emotion out in me before.  I was 'the' cool girlfriend.  I was okay with them hanging out with whomever and whichever girl and I'd be okay.  But for the past 3 weeks, I've been experiencing this tumultuous sea of feelings and I was kinda shock myself, for this feeling is so alien to me.  Yet I could feel that it's consuming me little by little.  And for the past 3 weeks, I'm really thankful to him because he listens.  All the time, albeit agitated and frustrated, but he listens.  It's also his first encounter with someone who has such clear logic of her emotions.  It's the first for both of us.  And so I broke down last night.  He feels like a bad boyfriend.  I felt like a bad girlfriend.  He doesn't have a solution because they've been best friends for close to 2 decades.  I don't expect them to change.  But I'm still 'feeling' it.  It felt to me as though we're locked.    He wants to find a solution so that I can get rid of the feeling.  I feel like there's no solution to this because you can't get rid of this kind of feeling.  Wow, it was a total mess.  We both want this to work, we both don't want me to feel this, we both understand the significance of the status of a best friend, we both don't want that to change.  Funny.  Sounds like we're both on the same page.  Then how come we feel so bad?  And how do you rid of this feeling?  In a healthy, constructive, loving, win-win manner?

I don't know.  But what I know is we woke up feeling loving.  I guess there's no strategic plan to this sort of thing.  It's to live through it one day at a time, and embrace the challenge, one day at a time.

So far, what has worked for me is, to acknowledge this feeling (because I tried numbing it and trust me, that doesn't work because damn those tears, they will find their way out).  Experience it and then, talk it out (you'll have to experience some defensiveness and frustration but that's okay, it's all part of the ride).  But I realized that it takes an equal partner to do this mind-fumbling cha cha with you.  And I thank God, he's a really good partner in solving conflicts with me.  It never turn into an argument, an intense tearful debate, yes.  But never an argument.

What worked for you?  How do you overcome the challenge of 'jealousy'?  We're all learning.  Personally I hope I've overcame this cause it's really not a pleasant feeling.  The frustrated part from our discussion last night was him doesn't understand why I'm feeling as such.  I then realized that men think women can switch their feelings on and off, which ahem, WE CAN'T, DAMNIT!  If I had a choice, I don't want to feel it too... But I've learned that I can't.  So I better figure a better way to deal with it.  Cause I don't want nothing to separate us.  That's how important he is to me.

ABC soup with pork ribs.

Sorry no pix!  Last weekend, a loved one fell sick - feverish, cough, headache, sore throat, the whole works.  I felt so sorry for him that I thought a big bowl of broth would cheer him up.  Due to time constrain, I decided to cook the classic 'ABC soup'.  I wonder what ABC stands for too but never really got an answer.  But anyway, the classic ABC soup has diced potatoes, carrots, onions and tomatoes (celery, corn, etc are optional).  I accidentally bought chicken and then I recalled that he's having a cough, so I swapped it with pork ribs.  Everybody love ribs right?

So here's what you need:
2 carrots - diced (to whatever shape you like but remember the larger chunk, the longer you have to cook it)
2 potatoes - diced
2 small white onion - I used one but because onion dissolves into the soup once it's soft, I suggest you use two instead
4 small tomatoes - I used 2 cause I was kinda worried that the pot won't fit and there're too much veg to every spoon of soup but they dissolve as well so 4 should be good
Pork ribs - I used about 10 pieces
Salt and pepper to taste

Here's what you need to do:
You could be very lazy - wash and throw everything into the pot, but I'd like my soup to look clear so I blanched and boiled the pork ribs in boiling water with a bit of salt to get all the impurities and excess oil out. Remove from pot, wash (the pot) and fill it up with any amount of water you like.  Put the pork ribs and potatoes in first cause these are the hardest to cook.  After 10 minutes, put everything else except for the tomatoes, which go in after another 10 minutes.  Once everything is in, bring to boil.  Once it's boiling, lower down the fire to a simmer and let it slow cook for about another half an hour to 40 minutes so that everything is soft including the pork ribs.  Add salt and pepper to taste, 10 minutes before serving.

And at the end, you get a big appreciative smile from a sick patient whom you just cheered up with a bowl of awesome :)

If you need something more filling, serve with white rice.  Mix soup into white rice and eat while hot.  When I was young, my mother used to serve me that when I was ill.  Always made me feel better :)

Loh Hon Kor herbal tea.

My first time attempting a herbal tea and to my great embarrassment, I've mixed up one of the ingredients by name.  I always thought it was a fig but turns out, it's a honey date.  Oops.

But anyway, this tea is great for dispelling heat and cooling down your body, avoid heat stroke, acute or chronic throat inflammation, and chronic cough.

What you need is:
1) 2 Loh Hon Kor (Buddha Fruit) - crushed
2) 8 dried Chinese honey dates (which I thought were figs!) - I added 6 only and had to add additional cane sugar to taste.  I kinda figured that if I were to add 8 to 10, together with the natural sweetness of Loh Hon Kor and the dried longans, I could probably skip sugar altogether :)
3) A small handful of dried longans
4) 3 litres of water - which will be boiled down to 1.5 litres

Loh Hon Kor (Buddha Fruit).

Dried Chinese honey dates.

Dried Longan.

What you need to do is:
1) Wash everything.
2) Crush the Loh Hon Kor or just crack it into half so that you can 'break into' the taste.
3) Put everything into a big pot that can hold 3 litres of water.
4) Start boiling on slow fire for one hour.

You can eat the Longan and discard everything else.  Of which you'll achieve a dark liquid consistency and a lovely aroma.  Remember to let it cool before bottling (if plastic) and if you are feeling 'heaty', remember DO NOT drink while it's hot.  According to the herbal shop lady, it may have a reverse effect.  Always drink herbal tea when it's cooled either at room temperature or cold if you're heaty :)

And tada!  Love bottled!

Hami Melon sweet soup.

I normally post things for sale but last weekend, I attempted a Chinese sweet dessert soup and reckon I have to post it somewhere so that I won't forget the recipe/how-to.  And then I remember this blog, which was also meant to share with you guys some really 'kick-ass' homemade stuff.  Because stuff made at home is stuff made with love :)

I actually got the recipe from a book but I did a slightly different variation which I think turned out all right.

What you need is:

• 3/4 Hami melon cut into bigger pieces (palm size is good, by the way I have a small palm, so you judge) because once you cook it, it will shrink and melt into the soup.  I cut it into slightly bigger than bite size and kinda regretted because the longer you simmer the soup, the more the melon will melt away.  
• White fungus which you need to strip to smaller pieces and cut away the yellow hard stems.  You need to cook this a lot longer if you like it soft.  Note: A handful will do!  I was greedy and chucked in two handfuls and boy, do they grow when you soak em' in water! :Pp
• Lotus seeds - now this is the tricky one.  I threw a handful into a bowl of water to be soaked and was able to use only half of what's left.  After soaking, I decided to blanch them for 10 minutes, and it really helps getting all the dirt and skin and impurities out.  Now, the icky part is... you've got to be careful because inside these seeds, there are a lot of bugs :S So even after you de-seed it (the green colour core is bitter), you have to remove the bugs painstakingly one by one.  This is the most time consuming part of the cooking.  If you chuck em' all in without picking carefully, your loved ones will get extra nutrients in their soup ;) nice Halloween trick tho'.
• Lily bulbs - soak a handful in water to remove the impurities.  Lily bulbs are very hard when they are dry but when they get cooked, they become really delicate.  So it's really important for you to put it last before the melon, otherwise they'll disintegrate and make your soup really chalky and cloudy.
• Yellow cane sugar

What you need to do is:

• Cut melon and set aside
• Soak all the other ingredients but blanch the lotus seeds, de-seed and worm out all bugs (eeyuck!) and set aside
• Bowl water in the pot - how much is really up to you - my rough gauge was the ingredients should take up about 1/3 space of the pot.
• Once the water is boiling, throw in the white fungus and yellow cane sugar.  I only used one 5cm diameter size cane rock sugar because I wanted the ingredients to absorb some sweetness but not have the entire pot to taste diabetic.  
• Boil for half hour then add in the lotus seeds and continue on medium heat for another 40 minutes.
• Then add in the lily bulb for 10 minutes and then add in the Hami melon and bring to simmer for another 10 minutes on low heat.  Avoid stirring so that the melon doesn't disintegrate.  At this point, you can add in more cane sugar, depending on how sweet you want it to be.  The Hami melon which I got was really sweet and yummy so I kept it light.
• Then tada!  Good to go!  Personally I think this makes a really light and refreshing cold drink even though you can have it hot.  It's up to you :)

What health benefits you get?

• Hami melon: Vitamin A and C
• White fungus: Improve blood circulation, and strengthen respiratory system. It is also said to have cancer fighting and anti-aging properties.
• Lotus seeds: Good source of protein, magnesium, potassium, and phosphorus with cooling properties with calming effect and reduce blood pressure.
• Lily bulbs: It can soothe a dry throat, relieve a cough and aid with heart palpitations. Good for dispelling body heat. Awesome for someone who's recovering from a cold :)

That's all folks!  Make it and make it with love :) x

Strawberry Jam Monday.

Because everyone complains about the blues on the first day of the week, I've decided to combat it with something cheerful and sweet.  So here goes:

First you need some strawberries, a lemon, some gelatine and sugar.  I wish I bought 'riper' sort of strawberries which are also more reddish than these ones.  Cause it really does give a better colour to your jam.  If your strawberries look like these, your jam will turn out to be more pinkish than red.  And in case if you don't already know, red (or the same family) is the colour that makes all food look more delicious (hence, most food brand logos have some kind of red).  So, ya try to find 'redder' strawberries if you know what I mean :)

And then you squeeze a lemon into a bowl.  You probably only need to use 1 or 2 tablespoons of lemon, depending on your personal taste.  I used 2 tablespoons to a mountainful bowl of sliced strawberries, but I would have taken it a notch down still.  Maybe 1 and half would have been sufficient.  Don't forget that strawberries have their natural sweetness and sourness too!

Add strawberries, lemon juice and sugar (I used half a small bowl - which is already too sweet for me!) into a pot or saucepan and cook em' strawberries, mash em' strawberries, stir em' strawberries till they are mushy and gooey like the picture below.  Keep stirring cause you don't want it to burn.  Best result using non-stick pot/pan otherwise good luck in your aftermath.  While you have one hand stirring the pot, you need to use the other hand to prepare the gelatin mixture.  Pour 1 tablespoon of gelatin into a bowl, add cold water, mix em' and let stand still for about 1 minute before adding into the pot, stirring constantly.  Oh yea, pretty much like a kitchen circus - two hands motion.  Reminds me of Karate Kid - wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off.  Hehe.

When everything is well-mixed, bring to boil and turn off the gas.  Let the jam sit for about 5 minutes and scoop away the foam on the top.  Once it's cooled down a little, you can fill em' into little jars :)

MMM MMM MMM :)~

See, I bet if I used riper or more reddish fruits, it'd look even more enticing.

My jars didn't have a cover.  So what I did was to wrap once with cling wrap and secure with a rubber band.  Then used some pretty origami paper (cut to perfect size) as a cover.  If it's homemade, it cannot not have a cottony sort of ribbon right?  

TADA!  できたよ！

Once the jars cooled down, you can then put them in your fridge and the gelatin will harden and you'll have a jelly texture!  If you prefer compote sort, then forget about the gelatin.

I tried.  It tastes like... strawberry jam.  Hehe.  Sweet and sourish.  It's my first time so, to be honest, I don't know how well I fared.  I made peach jam before when I lived in Japan and that was absolutely yummy!  Well, I only have two jars, so if you want one just let me know.

The entire procedure took me 2 hours which trust me, I spent MORE time decorating the jars than really cooking it.  So be encouraged, it's really not that difficult and can actually be really fun.  And nothing beats the satisfaction of looking at your end product :)

Though I have to say, a jar of jam outside costs less than 5 bucks and I think I spent 30 plus on the ingredients.  Economically speaking, it may not be the best viable option if you treat strawberry jam as a commodity.  But for your family to eat healthier (no preservatives) *ting*, to enjoy creating something out of love *ting*, to de-stress yourself from work (or any other stress inducing situation) *ting* and to be able to share this with others *ting* - now that's definitely worth more than RM5 ;)

Have fun boys and girls, have a jammy one!  x

Homemade 'chunky cashewnut butter with honey' ♥

Homemade stuff is really a joy - both the process and the outcome.  Finally got the chance to work on #thepeanutbutterproject and here's to share with you :)

First you start by making sure you have all the right ingredients.  Roasted cashews (you can use peanuts, or whatever nuts you prefer), some salt, butter and honey.

 First, blend some cashews into small chunks and then set them aside.  I later added them back into the blend to keep em' chunky :)

Then blend the rest of the cashews.

Till fine.

Add butter, honey and a tiny pinch of salt (cause roasted nuts usually are salted already).  I won't say how much but I just kept adding, and tasting, and checking the consistency of the texture.  And keep blending.

Till you get like a paste like this and it's about done!  Add back the chunky bits and hit the processor one more time.

Then spread it on~ nyams.  It's a little dry because I didn't add any oil.  I thought it'll make the whole paste oily instead of smooth like Skippy.

And last but not least... TADA! できた！

Homemade is good.  While the texture and flavour might not be something familiar (like Skippy) but imagine minus-ing all those unnecessary additives from your daily diet, one small step at a time?  Spend some quality time this weekend with quality produce :)  Enjoy your own cashewnut butter today! ♥